Thornton Conquests

Someone's In The Kitchen
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CLASS CLOWN
HOW TO BE SAVED
HOW GREAT THOU ART!
Educated Simpleton--The Classic Oxymoron
Revival Proposal
A "Great" Church
Christmas: A True Story
By special request: I Believe In Santa
Ashamed of Christ?
Christmas vs. Winter Holiday
SURPRISE, SURPRISE...BUT YOU REALLY WERE WARNED!
The Thornton Diet
It Takes All Kinds
Read...Read...Read!
God Does Watch Over You
Speed Of Light
If You're An Atheist, Better Enjoy It Now
Prayer For One Who Has Lost A Pet
What Price Freedom
Lollapalooza
Blind, Deaf, and Speechless
The Concordance
Necessity Brings Change
One Step From The Ultimate
Yes, God loves you, but what then...
Marriage by Priests
Women Keep Silent?
Dad Gets An "A"
THE END...?
To Live Again
If Christ Had Not Been Born
Degrees of Hell
One God; Three Persons
Mother Love
THREE DAY PARTY
The Gift of Healing
Boredom in Heaven?
"Virgin" or "Young Woman"
The United States of America
A Bowl Of Stew
Never Too Young
Joy In The Morning
Full House
If A Tree Could Think
Wisdom and Common Sense
No Secrets Stay Hidden
Sportsmanship
Favorite Toys
God Knows Everyone's Language
Why Christmas, Anyway...
Just A Housewife
Bible All Greek To You?
Worth Repeating...Thanksgiving With The Patriots
Color Blind
The Lottery Curse
Once Upon A Bedtime
Tears In Heaven?
God Works In Wondrous Ways
God is Explicit, But Fair
Displeasing, But Not Sinful
Smile! You're on Life's Camera!
Jesus, the Teen-ager
Is it OK to Lie...sometimes?
Miracle on Your Street
What Will Heaven Be Like
Elvis: The Gospel Side
The Real Man
Vegetarians; Have Ye Any Meat?
You Are Not Alone
Freedom: Is There a Limit?
A Taste Of Heaven
God's Chosen People
Lest We Forget
The Date When Jesus Will Come
Computer Possibilities
Where Hell Bubbles Up
Love Supercedes Everything
What is This World Coming To
God Feeds the Sparrows, but....
Outside-Inside
Nature's Praise
Abou Ben Adhem
How to Suffer Forever
Ready When You Are, C.B.!
Wanted: A Few Good Men
Prejudice Can Lose Wars
Miracle Phone Calls
Pets in Heaven?
Untimely Deaths
Kennedy Inauguration-I Was There
God Is In Charge
You're Rich!
Happy New Resolve
When Is Christmas?
Bail Out The Boat
Revenge? Not Anymore
Re-discovering Family
No Favorites
Boston; The Perfect Season
No Lost Cause; The Battle of Midway
Judge, Or Not
Endangered Species
College?
Interruptions
Your Only Peace; Your Only Safety
Fate...Does It Happen?
God Talks To Us?
Good Things; Bad Things
The Insult
Why Christ Came To Earth
The Bike
God: How Does He Figure In
Too "Macho" to Love Christ?
Two Dollars and Thirty-Two Cents
All Are Heroes
Funny TV
Ten Commandments and the Supreme Court
Recession Reaction
Silence Doesn't Mean Non-existence
Marriage and Heaven
"M" Is For The Many Things She Gave Me
The Kiss
Recession's Good Points
Three Day Party
The Unbroken Colt
Aimee McPherson
One Drop At A Time
Las Vegas
The Shroud of Turin
The Glue That Holds Us Together
Moses Crossed the Red Sea; So Where's The Map!
God Can't Play Favorites
Not What It Seems
Statue of Liberty
Extinction of the Polar Bears!
Fear Not
Christmas vs "Winter Holiday"
Santa Faith
Christmas Tree
Keep Your Old Jack
Forever Friends
And There Were Giants
President? It's OK
The Bible Is True
Ways To Stay Humble
Angels in St. Louis
Valleys and Mountain Tops
The Cross and the Switchblade
The GutenbergBible
Competition
Aliases
Rich Man; Poor Man
Just Plain "Bill"
The Chaplain
The Amazing Human Heart
Just One Mistake
Grace and Mercy
Mel's Poem
Your Dad
Mother Love
Death By Any Other Name
The Prophet
Sunday
The Greatest Miracle
Someone's In The Kitchen
Love, The Great Equalizer
Sincerely Wrong
Christ Still Makes The Blind To See
Jews Must Obey The Law,or Else
UFO'S?
The Good Old Days
Read and read; lead and lead
Mistaken Interpretation
Just Suppose...No Christmas
Why Christmas, Anyway
Cut Your Own Switch
See Niagara Falls
Memories
God is in Charge
Know your Bible
Father And Son
Boot Camp
They Don't Know Their Onions
Aimee McPherson
Tell The Truth If It Takes The Hide
Shedding Of Blood
Why Women Faint
Miracles Come In All Sizes
The Parable of the Computer
Remembrances
Appreciation
Noah and the Ark
Bad Things Happen To All
The God of Love Also Hates Evil
Lose Weight Through Exercise...NOT
Our Miraculous Brains
Christmas vs Winter Holiday
The Love Of A Dog
Daddy's Shoes
Abou Ben Adhem
Pogo Saw Our Future
Our Government, Under God
Shakespeare "Made Do"
Church and State

If you’ve ever read anything, you’ve had this experience: You’re in the middle of the article, and all of a sudden, your mind is skipping something that happened somewhere at some other time, that has nothing whatsoever with what you’re reading. It happens, no matter what you’re reading…a school lesson, a magazine article, or the Bible.

For example, I was reading in the Bible, in the seventh chapter of Romans, where the Apostle Paul is saying, I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” He was speaking of our weaknesses, that at times show up, no matter how we try to avoid them.

And right in the middle of my reading, I found myself thinking of an episode of the Carol Burnett Show, where Tim Conway and Harvey Korman are German officers, trying to make Lyle Waggoner, who plays an American prisoner, give them war information. Tim pulls out a hand puppet of Adolph Hitler and of course gets to ad-libbing, having the puppet sing “I’ll be working on the railroad,” running into “someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, segue-waying into “Fe-fi-fiddly-I-Ooh.” (We sung all of it on the bus going to high school ballgames). Of course it broke up Harvey Korman…

But do you see where I’M going? No matter how you try to concentrate on a thing, your mind jumps to China or somewhere, out of control for a moment. And that’s why you can read your Bible through 15 times, and each time you’ll come upon things you don’t remember ever reading before. That’s why you should read and re-read your Bible…to get “the rest of the story,” as Paul Harvey would say. The Bible will even talk to you differently when you’re in a certain mood, so that a certain scripture will touch you, that didn’t seem to register at all at another time when you read it. One thing you’ll get the FIRST time, though, is right from wrong, and that you must be born again to reach Heaven.

Read your Bible. Then read it again. And try not to let distractions spoil it for you.

37BT Bill Thornton Feb 9, 2008

Thorntonism: Memory knows no miles; erases all wrinkles